since 2004! ♥

Tuesday, January 08, 2008

the very first post in 2008*
marks a new beginning, a new start of the yr. (:

recalling back....
past 2007* was a tough year for me.
firstly, my beloved grandpa had left me.. quietly :(
the day he left us, was the day i promised to cook porridge for him.
but, he..
i rmbed, starting end march till mid april..
almost everyday, i went to his hse to take care of him,
as grandma had to work.
even if he's in hospital, everyday i would go down to acc him,
to see him..
those were the days which i cant go out with my friends.
but becuz, he is so much IMPT to me then anything else,
its worth! its worth!!
and becuz, mummy told me that he might just GO anytime,
so the more i feel i should spend time with him..
the more i should talk to him, acc him..
and to see his every single action..
sometimes, i wish im brave enuff to go forward & HUG him.
alot of ppl said, he dotes me the most among all.
i really hope its true!
b`cuz i simply love him too much.. too MUCH!
i still rmb that every morning, he'll bring us to have our breakfast,
den to yishun park.
i still rmb those days he cycled me to school when im still a kindergarden kid.
as i get older, i realised that he's cute..
cute in a way that he behaves like a kid in such an old age.
which i always called him"lao wan tong".
always, i'll ask grandpa to stay overnight at my hse..
but always, grandma dont want to.. sigh*
nw, im an adult-to-be.
im glad that at least b4 he leave me,
i do whatever i can do for him, thou the time is real short.

now, 8 months had passed.. but to me,
everything seems to happen just like yesterday.
even till nw, i still cant get over the sadness.
*time heals all wound*
but how much time is needed for me to heal all my sadness?
my one and only one,
my most beloved one,
i lost him..forever and ever..
blame that im still young,
blame that im born out too late,
i wish to do things for him,
just to see a smile on his face~
you know, i JUST LOVE HIM TOO MUCH TOO MUCH!!
and, nv will i forget..
b4 going off from hospital,
i kinda held my grandpa's hand ((:
and he just let me hold it.
for that few seconds...

secondly, becuz of that incident..
i had no mood for anything else.
i just feel so reluctant to go school.
even my studies, i flung all my written paper.
i skipped most of the lectures, the tutorials and even labs.
thus, causing me to have a LOUSY attendance.
i just cant pull myself up from all these.
it was my first time facing such thingy.
was a heavy blow to me.
luckily, baby was there for me.
he even teached me in my studies for the supp.paper.
if not for him, i dun know how im going to face everything.
he was the one there, lending me shoulders to cry on, to lean on.
and of coz, my friends too.
those who showed concern, thanks alot!
ok, enuff of emo-emo things..

for now, 2008*
is a new start for me (:
poly 2nd yr is coming to an end,
tons of projects coming up.
im so strreessssed up.
anyway, here's an extract of my sms to hubby.
becuz of mc king pass away~, it makes me recall all the sadness in me.
"so far, the first regret in my 19 yrs of life..
was being unable to fulfil the things i said to grandpa.
i said, i want to cook porridge for him.. & i even told him agn and agn,
to wait for me to come ah..
but he did not, and din say a single word to me..
and just left the world.
sad.
8 months! time flies"

my most beloved grandpa!

ended-*

with love,
9:22 PM